Marriage and having a family is the dream of most people, at times when needed, a professional couples therapist can help prolong great relationships for couples. Whatever the social standing, gender, and cultural background, most of us dream of having something to live for, of people to take care of through thick and thin. The need for care and love, which only relationship and family could provide, is so widespread we can almost claim that the desire for it is universal.
Having a happy family, married life, or good relationship, however, is something else. We have to work our way through it to achieve it. Sometimes, even the best efforts of most people are not enough. Despite doing everything, relationships do crumble down, resulting in failed relationships and broken marriages.
Most people think that relationships and family life are private matters better left to themselves. In truth, however, there are many things that we do not know, even as we are experts in relationships. Fortunately, some professionals can help us be better, both as partners in relationships and family builders.
What is couples therapy?
Couples therapy is counselling for lovers, romantic partners, husbands, wives, or any equivalent. That is the process they undergo to resolve difficulties, conflicts, and issues that are besieging their relationship. They can go through this as they try to weather the storm concerning their relationship together.
An expert facilitates couples therapy. The expert may be a marriage counselor or someone who has a deep understanding of the intricacies of relationships and all the issues, conflicts, and difficulties surrounding them. They do have familiarity and grasp of different methods available in helping couples who are undergoing a rough sail in their relationship.
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The need for a couples therapy
Who can avail of couples therapy?
Lovers, romantic partners, married couples, or anyone with significant other can avail of couples therapy. It is a popular but mistaken notion that only married couples can go to therapy such as this. In truth, all of us who have a romantic relationship with others do want it to last, and you can avail of any help that may save your relationship.
By anyone, we mean those already engaged in a mature, romantic relationship and those already well deep into it and have intense connections with their significant other. The idea of saving the relationship must involve both of them. So those who are willing and committed to going through the process must give it a try.
Going into details, those whose partnership has been in trouble due to some relationship issues can go into couples therapy. We need to emphasize relationship issues. Some issues may trouble a relationship but have nothing to do with relationships per se.
Financial problems, for instance, which may bear on a relationship, may better be addressed by solving problems regarding money instead of relationship. By relationship issues, we mean those that have to do with better commitment, compatibility, issues of personality, and the like. Also, a couples-therapist can help couples to have diversity of thoughts.
When to go for couples therapy?
One need not go to couples therapy at the first instant. Problems do arise in a relationship as often as day and night. And if the couple can resolve their differences by talking about their problems, they do not need to enter couples therapy. It saves time and effort if they can solve their problems on their own.
It is better, however, to think about it. Not because the relationship is in trouble. Far from it. You can consider going to a therapist if you want to strengthen your relationship further. It is like going to a doctor to ask for health advice, not because you are sick. An ounce of prevention is always better than a pound of cure, as the famous saying goes.
But the more your relationship with your partner is in trouble, the more you need to consider going to one. Now, it is like going to the doctor because something is bothering you. As the doctor may cure you and alleviate your suffering, a therapist can help your relationship survive the rough waters.
What is in store for me and my partner?
The usual advice given to you by your friends, relatives, and other commentators is not something you can expect from your therapist. Instead, the therapist will give both expert advice based on tons of experiences, lots of studies, and sound judgment. Again, pedestrian knowledge is the least you can expect from your therapist.
The therapist will probably subscribe to some schools of thought and theories popular in psychology and relationship. Among them are the ones developed by doctors John and Julie Gottman, relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson, and others. Those theories revolve around specific themes such as familiarity and the importance of communication in resolving problems, issues, and conflicts.
Your therapist will delve deeply into those issues. The therapist will also teach you techniques about communication, conflict resolution, and problem-solving. Unlike the commonsensical knowledge about relationships, those techniques go into the heart of the matter and will genuinely help guide your relationship from the rough waters to the safe harbor.
Finding a couples therapist
A therapist is an expert, and you should not encounter difficulty finding one. However, both of you must work with one with whom you can feel comfortable and trust. Therefore, it is better to ask your trusted friends or confidantes if they can refer someone who has the expertise and establish proper rapport with you and your partner.
It is even better if you have friends in the medical profession and other related fields. They probably have some connections and know whether the therapist can work wonderfully with you and your partner.
It is crucial that when asking for referrals, you tell them if there are specific things you want about your therapist. It will also help if your friends know you and your partner intimately so that they will know or refer you to the right therapist.
Commitment to therapy
Commitment is an essential factor if you want to engage in couples therapy. So before engaging in one, make sure that your partner is also willing to undergo therapy. Willingness means that your partner will also wholeheartedly commit to the therapy. Unwillingness to undergo therapy will ruin everything.
By commitment, it means that you and your partner must be ready to attend sessions and listen to your therapist. It may be practical tips on how to improve your relationship, how to resolve conflicts, or how to spice up your relationship. Those little things which both of you neglect may indeed truly matter in your relationship.
Bear in mind all of the things your therapist suggests. But be proactive too. Be engaged in undergoing therapy, and not as if you are only going through the motions. Even better, show your partner that you are wholly committed to the therapy to make your partner realize how much you want to save the relationship.
Most people find going to a therapist unnecessary, as it costs so much time and effort. However, there are times when you must engage in therapy, especially if you are in trouble and genuinely need help.
Couples therapy is available to help people in their romantic relationships with others. Whether your relationship is in trouble or not, you can avail of it and undergo the process to improve further and strengthen your relationship with your loved one.
What is a Couples Therapy?
Couples therapy is counselling for lovers, romantic partners, husbands, wives, or any equivalent. That is the process they undergo to resolve difficulties, conflicts, and issues that are besieging their relationship. They can go through this as they try to weather the storm concerning their relationship together. An expert facilitates couples therapy.
How to find a Couples Therapist?
A therapist is an expert, and you should not encounter difficulty finding couples-therapists near me. However, both of you must work with one with whom you can feel comfortable and trust. Therefore, it is better to ask your trusted friends or confidantes if they can refer someone who has the expertise and establish proper rapport with you and your partner.